We met at my second house around 5 na in the afternoon, then we arrived at G4 around 7. Grabe! di naman sa nakakapagod siyang kasama (michael peace!), sadyang nakakapagod lang talaga maglakad! Ang bilis namin bumili. We went to their to buy a scarf for her…*chuchu.* grabe ang bilis talaga! pauwi na kami ng mga 8. Pero it was worth it kasi nung pagkabalik namin ng katipunan, we ate sandali, then we played 3 games sa blueskies. I arrived at home mga 1 na! shocks, buti di ako masyado pinagalitan.

Michael, sana naman NAtawagan mo na siya and sana NAbigay mo na yung gift. haha! Goodluck nalang.

Suddenly, time passed slowly… everyday, I know I’m still deeply in love with her, yet, I haven’t told her even once. She never knew what I felt during those times – when we share our moments together. I can’t continue my life this way. I know what I want; I never would never like the feeling of regret coming to me every night – sleepless.

Friends… What exactly is the meaning of this word? Someone you can cling on when you got no one to? Someone who can be trusted? The person you can share your secrets, funny moments, regrets, painful memories?

I came to a point when I realized that All of this must stop – make or break. I can’t go on like this, every time I think of her, my heart aches and I feel like I am depending on her – a parasite who can’t leave without a host. I could never forget… Words that I supposed have said…

I love you.

Thank you for the rain! finally… I can relax a bit.

First and foremost, I’ve learned alot about love. Yeah, I know, sounds cheesy but hey, It was fun (realizing the truth that is). I have read many books about love and none of them made me regret reading them. All made some crucial points in my life and has given me happiness to let me exercise my free will better.

Enough about that, I’ve got alot of reviews to come! movies, great music, writings, entries, etc.

Now to the upcoming days, I’ll be less busy so i’ll be able to write.

stunningly beautiful. so goood ;)

Pretty cool huh? I’m his fan. ;p

At that moment, it seemed to him that time stood still, and the Soul of the World surged within him. When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and a silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke–the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs here at the well. She smiled, and that was certainly an omen–the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life. The omen he had sought to find with his sheep and in his books, in the crystals and in the silence of the desert.

It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only women in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.

Maktub.

Has caused this world to become off balanced already…

I am leaving six stars behind me, that I did not have.

This is an obvious tragedy, but can also be helpful…

In case I fail or he fails…

Deception…Usurpation…

   It all started when our overrated adventurer, Radioactive Man, woke up in a foxy forest. It was the eighth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly frustrated, Radioactive Man punched a dull pencil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, he realized that his beloved diary was missing!  Immediately he called his so-called buddy, Fallout Girl. Radioactive Man had known Fallout Girl for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were exotic ones.  Fallout Girl was unique. She was smart though sometimes a little… pestering. Radioactive Man called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   Fallout Girl picked up to a very glad Radioactive Man. Fallout Girl calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies shudder before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Radioactive Man.  Why was Fallout Girl trying to distract Radioactive Man?  Because she had snuck out from Radioactive Man’s with the diary only ten days prior.  It was a enticing little diary… how could she resist?

   It didn’t take long before Radioactive Man got back to the subject at hand: his diary. Fallout Girl sneezed. Relunctantly, Fallout Girl invited him over, assuring him they’d find the diary. Radioactive Man grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Fallout Girl realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the diary and she had to do it aptly. She figured that if Radioactive Man took the Jap Trap, she had take at least seven minutes before Radioactive Man would get there.  But if he took the time machine?  Then Fallout Girl would be abundantly screwed.

   Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Fallout Girl was interrupted by eight insensitive Care Bears that were lured by her diary. Fallout Girl shuddered; ‘Not again’, she thought. Feeling exasperated, she fearlessly reached for her carrot and randomly poked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent–the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief.  That’s when she heard the time machine rolling up.  It was Radioactive Man.

   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Texaco to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late.  With a quick leap, Radioactive Man was out of the time machine and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Fallout Girl’s front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Fallout Girl was panicking.  Not thinking, she tossed the diary into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind her refrigerator. Fallout Girl was frustrated but at least the diary was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

   ‘Come in,’ Fallout Girl explosively purred.  With a careful push, Radioactive Man opened the door.  ‘Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish flaming idiot in a wannabe go-fast Civic,’ he lied.  ‘It’s fine,’ Fallout Girl assured him. Radioactive Man took a seat not remotely close to where Fallout Girl had hidden the diary. Fallout Girl belched trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness.  ‘Uhh, can I get you anything?’ she blurted.  But Radioactive Man was distracted. A few unfulfilled decades later, Fallout Girl noticed a dimwitted look on Radioactive Man’s face. Radioactive Man slowly opened his mouth to speak.

   ‘…What’s that smell?’

   Fallout Girl felt a stabbing pain in her love handle when Radioactive Man asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the diary right by her oscillating fan. ‘Wh-what?  I don’t smell anything..!’  A lie.  A dimwitted look started to form on Radioactive Man’s face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. ‘Th-th-those are just my grandma’s carrots from when she used to have pet man-eating capybaras.  She, uh…dropped ‘em by here earlier’. Radioactive Man nodded with fake acknowledgement…then, before Fallout Girl could react, Radioactive Man thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it.  The diary was plainly in view.

   Radioactive Man stared at Fallout Girl for what what must’ve been four nanoseconds. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Fallout Girl groped earnestly in Radioactive Man’s direction, clearly desperate. Radioactive Man grabbed the diary and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Fallout Girl let out a eccentric chuckle. ‘If only you hadn’t been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Radioactive Man,’ she rebuked. Fallout Girl always had been a little oafish, so Radioactive Man knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Fallout Girl did something crazy, like… start chucking ninja stars at her or something. Just as zero people expected he gripped his diary tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

   Fallout Girl looked on, blankly. ‘What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.’ Silence from Radioactive Man. ‘And to think, I varnished that window frame ten days ago…it never ends!’ Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Radioactive Man. ‘Oh.  You ..okay?’ Still silence. Fallout Girl walked over to the window and looked down. Radioactive Man was gone.

   Just yonder, Radioactive Man was struggling to make his way through the bush behind Fallout Girl’s place. Radioactive Man had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral Care Bears suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the diary.  One by one they latched on to Radioactive Man.  Already weakened from his injury, Radioactive Man yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Care Bears running off with his diary.

   About four hours later, Radioactive Man awoke, his fingernail throbbing.  It was dark and Radioactive Man did not know where he was.  Deep in the mysterious foxy forest, Radioactive Man was alarmingly lost. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, he remembered that his diary was taken by the Care Bears. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life.  That’s when, to his horror, a bloated Care Bear emerged from the foxy forest.  It was the alpha Care Bear. Radioactive Man opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Care Bear sunk its teeth into Radioactive Man’s taint. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Radioactive Man’s lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

   Less than six miles away, Fallout Girl was entombed by anguish over the loss of the diary.  ‘MY PRECIOUS!!’ she cried, as she reached for a sharpened wolverine.  With a quick thrust, she buried it deeply into her kidney.  As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Radioactive Man… wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him.  But she would die alone that day.  All that remained was the diary that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise.  And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn’s reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Care Bears, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come.  Our heroes would’ve lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead.  So, no one lived forever after, the end.

The 4th book of the series Twilight, will be released on the 2nd day of August in the U.S. I’m guessing that it will be released here after a week or so. But hey, isn’t that great news? The much awaited story is about to end and different circumstances, conflicts is about to be told. Even now, I’m still wondering how the story will be brought to an end. I know, I know, the Bella-Edward love team will win but, what I’m really curious about is, what are the things thats going to happen between them? Still gives me the goosebumps… aaahhh

Mangarap ka at abutin mo ito. Huwag mong sisihin

ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay

mong tuta o mga lumilipad na ipis.

Kung may pagkukulang sayo ang magulang mo, pwede

kang manisi at magrebelde, tumigil sa pag-aaral,

mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ng buhok sa kili-kili.

Sa bandang huli, ikaw din ang biktima… rebeldeng

walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.

-Bob Ong

To burn with desire and be quiet about it

is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.

-Lorca (Latin American Poet)

Great spirits have always encountered violent oppositions from the mediocre minds.

-Albert Einstein

Sabi nga nila, mahirap mabuhay sa mundong ito. Totoo naman e… Life is hard. It’s even harder if you’re stupid.

Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside of them – a desire, a dream, a vision. They have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.

-Muhammad Ali

Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.

-Dr. E. Land

Act as if it were impossible to fail.

-Dorothea Brande

I do not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

-Voltaire

I detest the man who hides on thing in the depths of his heart and speaks forth another.

-Homer

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

-Leonardo Da Vinci

Wise people talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

-Plato

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Tis the mind that makes the body rich.

-William Shakespeare

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies; for the hardest victory is victory over self.

-Aristotle

All that is not eternal is out of date.

-C.S. Lewis

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Adversity does not make us frail; it only shows us how frail we are.

-Abraham Lincoln

The less men think, the more they talk.

-Montesquieu

Dare I? Of course I don’t. But I’m going to anyhow because I have no choice.

-Madeline L’Engle

If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.

-Edward Cullen

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts.

Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take it to the sky
Ripples form on the water’s surface
The wandering soul knows no rest.

There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh.

My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess.

My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely.

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice.

Unlike any other chocolate on the market, Amedei ties its chocolate with its natural companion, love. The

elegant labels on Chocolove bars reflect that ideal. Each bar resembles a love letter, addressed and affixed with a “stamp” that declares the cocoa content. Waiting inside each Amedei wrapper is a romantic love poem and, of course, delicious chocolate!

But there is even more to Amedei… Quality and taste are paramount. Every Chocolove bar is made with the highest quality ingredients, including pure Italian Chocolate, according to traditional European processes. The result is chocolate that a connoisseur would truly appreciate and enjoy.

Choco-madness!

Omg, I can’t believe I’m this good! haha.

My neighbor told me about this one. She’s Corrinne May and she’s singaporian.  I like the lyrics on one of her song. very much. Yep. VERY.

Over the course of her music career, she has learnt to appreciate the winding journey as it unfolds. “I believe that there is a reason for everything, good and bad, that we have to go through. We truly are seeds, with all the potential to blossom in abundant ways that we might never think possible.”

On the side of me by Corrine May

I’m not the easiest person to love
I’m often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

I’m not too proud of some things
I’ve done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Blessed Charity
You’re on the side of me
on the side of me

‘Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it’s cold outside
and there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
but you

I’m not the easiest person to love
But you, you’ve opened your heart to show me what I’m worth

‘Cause you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You’re on the side of me
on the side of me

‘Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
when it’s cold outside
and there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you

Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

1.Have you ever called a person
useless?
– You’re useless

2.What object in your room is really
important?
– ako

3.Are you good at hiding your
feelings?
– pagnakita mo magaling ka na

4.Do you smile a lot?
– NGIWI

5.Would you kiss an ugly person for
$10,000?
– OO NAMAN PERA PINAGUUSAPAN E

6.Where were you today?
– sa pwet ni peter parker

7.What kind of sense of humor do you
have?
– ututan kita e

8.Do you usually tell people when they
hurt your feelings.
– ewan ko sayo kanina ka pa e. namemersonal ka ba

9.Do your initials spell out a word?
– ANONG KLASENG TANONG YAN?

10.When is the last time you talked to
an ex?
– kanina. nagmath ako e. xsquared pa nga e

11.How often do you give high fives?
– arte mo, apir nalang. pa high five high five ka pa e

12.If you had to delete one person off
your top friends list, who would it be?
– ikaw

13.Is your shirt new?
– pati ba tshirt ko papakeelaman mo

16.Where is the last place you went
out to eat?
– sa kainan ni burnok

17.Have you bought any clothing items
in the past week?
– bigyan mo ko ng pera bibilhan pa kita

18.Do you live near your ex?
– oo, kakwarto ko pa nga e

19.If you could have anything right
now, what would it be?
– MALUPET NA ERASER

20.Has your house ever been TPd?
– ANO YUN

21.Did you sing in the shower today?
– wala kaming shower sorry

22.Who was the last person you went
shopping with?
– bigyan mo nga ako pera e

23.Where is the last place you went
shopping?
– ANG KULET MO E NO

24.Do you have the same name as one of
your relatives?
– anong pake mo sa mga kamaganak ko nak ng tokwa

25.What kind of car do you drive?
– ILANG BESES KO BA SASABIHIN SAYO NA WALA AKONG PERA

26.Do you know your father’s birthday?
– december 25

27.What do you look for in a
boyfriend/girlfriend?
– MAYAMAN!!!

28.How old will you be in 8 months?
– kasing edad ko na si tyson nun

29.Do you prefer a call or a text?
– voice call gusto ko ~ eww text

30.Have you ever been on television?
– OO. nung binasag ko tv namin tapos pumasok ako

31.Are you happy right now?
– HINDI NABBWISIT AKO SA MGA TANONG MO E

32.Do your parents drink coffee every
morning?
– ewan ko. tampo ako sayo

33.Have you ever donated blood?
– donate ko buong katawan ko pwede

34.One song that’s meaningful to you?
– HIT ME BEYBEH 1 MORE TIME

35.Are you wearing any jewelry?
– HEADBANG

36.Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
– batis

37.Do you wish someone is with you
right now?
– wish wish okay

38.Is there currently a movie showing
that you want to see?
– SUPAHPAPALICIOUS

39.What are you going to do for your
next birthday?
– SA PLUTO PARA SOLO

40.Do you like your high school?
– AYLIKE IT pwede ko na ngang pangasawahan e

41.Does a kiss make you feel better?
– ayaw ko. gusto ko kiss sabay hug

42.What is or was your favorite
subject in school?
– uwian woot!

43.Is there someone you know you
should hate, but you can’t?
– sikretong mars

44.Out of your cousins, which one do
you talk to the most?
– si buknoy

45.Is there anyone you trust even
though you probably shouldn’t?
– si gaspangto

46.Name one thing you miss about your
real love?
– the deep curve!!!!!!! wahhata hipss ang sexy nya!!!!!! )

woooot! birthday ni mama nao! she’s seventeen na! wuaha! happy birthday mama, bless bless.ü

Anak ng tokwa naman o, ang labo talaga. Hindi ko alam kung eto ba o eto o eto. Kung ito ba o ito. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ba talaga. Kung papansin lang o ewan. Mas malabo pa sa mata ko e. Basta oo nalang ako. Ewan ko kung saan ako maniniwala. Paiba-iba e. Mamaya eto, mamaya doon. Anak ng pag-iisip yan o, ano ba pinakain sa utak na yan?! Monopoly board?! $&#^_^*@%#!!!!!!!! ewan ko. Sinasabaw na ko. Kaya minsan naiirita nalang ako sa mundo e. Magkalabuan nalang kaya. Hindi ko maintindihan. Ano ba gustong mangyari? Ayan o ito? Dyan ba o dito? Ano ba talaga. Ayusin muna para malinawan. 

oops, ang labo nun a.

e kasi e.

siya rin may kasalanan. 

ang labo niya e.

… 

… 

OO. ang labo mo. 

Pointless. Oo, nagmumukha akong tanga. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nakatayo dito, nakatitig sayo. Staring blankly. I tried to be everything, but all you can see is nothing. I can’t put the blame on you, dahil hindi mo rin kasalanan. If you fall, i’ll catch you, if you’re hurt, i’ll try to do anything just to make you smile. I love you and that’s all I can say. Kung hindi mo kayang tangapin, hell, it’ll hurt, pero wala akong magagawa. I’m not in control and i’ll never be in control of your feelings.

Our feelings is what make us, people, humans, significant. If our feelings would be the same, then, you can never ever define uniqueness. 

You’re inches from my fingertips, i’ve come as close as I can get, i’m reaching but the rest is up to you.

July 5, 2008. 5:00 AM. John wakes up from the sound of his alarm clock. For him, another day would only mean three things. Work. Work. And work. His life revolves on the bounds of his career as a senior project manager in an outsourcing company. Friends would mean associates. Family would mean his project team. Success would mean a completed project way beyond the deadline.

And Love would mean a promotion.

For someone whose god is his boss and whose faith is his career, he lives a meaningless and routine life.

John runs his life by the letter. He hasn’t been late nor absent to any of his commitments all his life. He does everything in precise timing as he planned. From the moment he wakes up in the morning until the time he closes his eyes at night, he never misses anything in his schedule. This natural phenomenon happens every single day of his life.

After taking a warm bath and changing into his clean corporate attire, he prepares his coffee. Black. Without cream or sugar. Just like his life: plain, bitter and dull. But it works for him for it charges him everyday without fail. He doesn’t eat anything for breakfast. He has read somewhere that a full stomach could interfere with the optimum functioning of the mind for blood in brain is allocated to the stomach to facilitate better digestion.

At exactly five-thirty in the morning, John leaves for work. He knows he should leave at this exact time for the latter he leaves his house, the greater chance that he would be late for work. Traffic in the metropolis is urban hell incarnate. He takes the monorail and in less than an hour he arrives at his office with several minutes to spare.

An hour ahead of his shift, he arrives at his office as planned. A sentinel greets him as he swipes his identification card at the entrance of their building. Since joining his company several years ago, he always arrives first at work without fail. If there was a lifetime award for punctuality and perfect attendance, it would be a no contest for him.

At around eight in the morning, John’s workplace starts to hum to the tune of an automated chaos. Cubicles are flooded with employees encoding data and answering phone calls, while offices are filled with project teams deciphering and completing complicated projects. Amidst the confusion, John stands focus and undisturbed, leading his team to another successful project.

“Well done, team,” he tells his team.

“It’s great to be with you, Sir,” one subordinate replies to him.

“You’re really amazing, Sir,” another flatters him.    

“You can return to your respective cubicles now. See you all on our next project.”

As his team returns to their respective cubicles, John looks at his watch. 10:00 AM. At this moment everyday, his associate, Nicole, prepares a coffee and snack in their pantry. He peeks from his office but she was neither near their pantry nor in her office. He wonders what might happen to her. Like him, she’s neither absent nor late for work. He still remembers vividly the time where they were still newly hired in the company six years ago. They used to work in the same team. Due to their impressive performance, they have been both promoted as senior project managers in less than three years.

His reminiscing was disrupted by an applause from his officemates. He looks at the hallway and sees Nicole, with their boss, being congratulated by other employees.

“John,” Nicole calls him from afar.

Nicole runs to him and flashes her sweet smile. From the way her eyes twinkle and her smile widens, John could conclude that she’s in a state of euphoria. All this time, she still looks mesmerizing, still taking his breath away every time he sees her. At five foot and five inches and armed with those Chinese eyes, fair complexion and slim figure, she is the most beautiful girl John has ever met. He even knows that every guy in their company, even his boss, wants to date her.

“I got our dream job, John,” she frantically told him.

“What job?” he asked.

“I’m finally going to New York!”

“Whoa? Really? Congratulations…”

Unexpectedly, before John could finish his sentence, Nicole hugged him innocently. For the first time since they’ve met, that was the closest place he ever stood from her. In between her arms.

During that very moment, his mind was torn into two. He was happy for her. He felt his body absorbing her joy. He shared with her something they both dream of since starting in the company: that illustrious offer in New York. And yet the other part of him felt a certain lost. He felt that he was more deserving of that job. Skill-wise, he was far more competent that her. But attitude-wise, she dominated him in every aspect of the word. A lot of people used to find him weird, if not introvert. Rumors have even spread that he may be gay. And only Nicole was the one who never treated him like some science geek or some circus freak.

“I’m hungry,” Nicole told John.

“So where do you want to order our lunch?”

“The usual.”

“Grilled tuna in lemon sauce, fresh salad and red iced tea?” He remembers her favorite food in an instant, just like he remembers everything about her.

“You know me too well, John,” she replied with a smile.

After less than an hour, their lunch arrived. Just like for the past six years, Nicole’s been eating grilled tuna in lemon sauce with fresh salad and red iced tea for lunch, while John’s been having roasted chicken breast with steamed vegetables and coffee crush shake. They’ve been having their lunch at Nicole’s office ever since.

And this lunch maybe their last one together.

While having their lunch, John can’t help but to look at Nicole’s office. Hers is a living contradiction of his office. While his own has the color of blue, their company’s color, hers has a touch of pink and red. He keeps that corporate-industrial atmosphere by having white lights and minimal metallic gray-colored furniture. Hers has a zen-glamorous ambiance with yellow and oranges lights complementing her comfortable brown oversized couches. He remembered back then that he found her taste inappropriate for their office but since then, he had learned to appreciate every piece of it. And he knows that when she leaves for New York, he’ll going to miss her office, and all the wonderful moments they shared in it.

Most of Nicole’s stuff were already placed on various boxes. The only things that were left untouched were those on her working table. One particular thing that caught his attention was her pictures. Most of it included him with her. Frozen in time were all those happy memories together as associates and as friends and he remembers every moment very well. 

“You alright, John,” Nicole asks John.

“Huh? Me? I’m fine. Why did you asked?”

“You haven’t touched your lunch. And I’m finished with mine. And that’s quite unusual.”

“I guess I was stuck here looking at your pictures.”

“Oh, these? Yeah. We were so happy together.”

“Yeah. You look real nice.”

“I’m gonna miss everything.”

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“…”

“…”

After what she heard, Nicole stared and wondered at John, while he continues to focus his attention to the pictures he was looking at.

At two in the afternoon, the two returned to their respective offices. John can’t seem to concentrate on his work. He kept on finding himself stuck in the moment, staring blankly at his office wall. He opens his right drawer and looks at the picture of him and Nicole. On the other hand, Nicole had already placed most of her stuff at their respective boxes. The only thing left to stash away was her pictures; most of it includes John with her. As she places them one-by-one on a box, she stares at them and wonders what he really feels for her.

Hours passed and the two were stuck in their respective emotional bubbles. John looks at his watch and it read “7:04 PM.” He realized that he hasn’t finished anything after having lunch with Nicole. And he was two hours way pass his shift. He quickly fixed his stuff and closes his office. As he passes the hallway, he noticed that one room was still lit.

It was Nicole’s office.

He peeked inside and didn’t see her. He noticed that most of her stuff were already gone. One box remained placed on top of her working table. It has his name on it. He walks to it and looks inside. What he saw inside made him wonder.

Inside were all of Nicole’s pictures with him. 

He picks one from the box and stares at it. In the picture he sees himself beside her. And the picture had an effect on him as if she was staring back at him. Frozen in that picture was her sweet smile. That same smile that kept him smiling on his own.

“Hey,” a voice called John.

John turned around and saw Nicole standing at her office doorway.

“I’m sorry to meddle with your stuff.” He quickly returned the picture back inside the box.

“No, it’s alright. Actually I was supposed to give those to you but I guess I choose to stash them last. I was planning to leave them at your office door.”

“Oh…”

“I didn’t know you were still here at the office. You should be already at your home. Didn’t you just finish your project this morning? Don’t tell me you’re working overtime.” And she flashed again her sweet smile.   

“I guess I just forgot the time. I was about to leave when I noticed your office has its light on. I just dropped by to check it out.”

“That’s it?”

“Huh?”

“You just came by to check on my office lights?”

“Yep. I promise. I really didn’t mean to meddle with your stuff.”

“You do understand that I’m leaving for New York tomorrow, and that’s all you can say?”

“Huh?”

“Aaarrggg! You’re hopeless, John!”

Out of her own frustration, Nicole walks towards John, picks up her box containing all her pictures with him, shoves it to his chest, and turns her back at him.

“After you check out my office lights, could you do me some favor? Turn them off for me, lock the door and jump from the building. You’re smart enough to do that, right?” She stormed out of the room while fighting her own tears from falling.

John stood there, clueless. It took him a couple of minutes to comprehend what had just happened. He ran towards the parking lot of their company and saw Nicole driving away in her car.

At past eight in the evening, he was inside the monorail on his way home. He had with him the box that she gave him. He tried to contact her several times on her mobile phone but she was out of network coverage. His phone was shut off. His communication with her was shut off. 

He was shut off from her life.

At around 11 in the evening, John can’t place himself to sleep. He visualized in his mind the whole day he had with Nicole. He doesn’t know if he did something for her to act that way but some part of him felt guilty for reasons beyond his reach. As for Nicole, she can’t sleep either. Her eyes won’t allow her. They seem to have minds of their own. All they wanted to do were to cry all night.

At around three in the morning, he was still awake, staring blankly at his wall. He remembered the box that she gave him. He opened it and laid its contents on his bed. Dozens of pictures silently screamed her name. As he gazed to all of their pictures he realized one thing. In all those frozen memories, there was one person that remained constant. There was one person who witnessed how Nicole became the person she is right now. There was one person who experienced with her all those happy moments.

He was there with her all along.

For six years that they were together, Nicole had strings of dates but nothing blossomed into any fancy romance. And in those years, he was the constant guy in her life, the closest she had to intimacy for he was always there lending a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. How can he be so blind?

As he lay the last picture on his bed, he noticed a letter at the bottom of the box. He opened it. What he read completely made him blame himself for being so dense, being so naive of his relationship with Nicole.

“John, by the time you’re reading this, I’m on my flight to New York. In this box are our pictures. I’m leaving all of them to you. I guess these pictures would be the heaviest baggage I’m suppose to bring with me. I want you to have them. I want you to remember me, John. Please don’t forget me. Since the day I’ve met you, you were always at my side. You never tried to take advantage. At first I found that admirable. But as the years passed, I desperately hoped that just for once, you should have tried to ask me out even for a date, for surely I would say yes. I kept on looking for you in all those guys who courted me but no one was even half of what you are and what you can be. I know I’m making an embarrassment of myself right now. But for you, only in front of you, John, that I’m willing to do this for I still cannot comprehend why you haven’t done anything to reach out and take a chance at me. This is the first time I’m gonna be away without you and I’m scared, John. You have been the sole reason why I’ve stayed all this time in our company. But I guess I cannot continue to hope and wait for the day to come that you would realize how important am I to you. It has been my constant prayer every night for you to feel the same way for me. I love you, John, and not telling you is the one thing I fear the most. I want you to know how much you have shaped me, how much you inspired me. I’ll always keep you inside my heart…”

John stopped reading Nicole’s letter. He cannot understand further the things written in it for his own tears had already smudged its remaining parts. But he understands now. He also secretly loves her, just like the way she secretly adores him. He was also the sole reason why she never accepted any offers given to him from other companies before, just like she was the same reason why he stayed in their company all this time. It was also his desperate wish for her to notice him more than the bounds of their working and friendly relationship, just like her constant prayer every night for him to feel the same way for her. And it was also his greatest regret of losing her completely, just like her greatest fear of not telling him how important he is to her.

Their identical prayers were already answered. But their greatest fears had also come to life.

At around five in the morning, with tired eyes and a regretful heart, John finally dozed off to sleep.

 July 5, 2008. 7:00 AM. John wakes up from the sound of his alarm clock. He used to believe that another day would only mean three things. Work. Work. And work. His life used to revolve on the bounds of his career as a senior project manager in an outsourcing company. Friends used to mean associates. Family used to mean his project team. Success used to mean a completed project way beyond the deadline.

And Love used to mean a promotion.

For someone who used to have a god as his boss and whose faith is his career, he used to lived a meaningless and routine life.

For today, his life’s going to mean only one thing: Nicole.

“Oh shit I’m late,” he curses himself.

John used to run his life by the letter; thus, it was quite unusual for him to be late. Until now, he hasn’t been late nor absent to any of his commitments all his life. He used to do everything in precise timing as he planned. From the moment he wakes up in the morning until the time he closes his eyes at night, he never missed anything in his schedule. This natural phenomenon used to happen every single day of his life. But last night proved to be different from the other nights he had. He wasn’t able to sleep at all. All he did all night long was to lie awake and think of everything that supposedly happened yesterday.

Everything changed in just one night. And this morning would also be different from the rest of the mornings of his life.

He wasn’t able to prepare his usual warm bath. He just took a cold shower and changed into his clean corporate attire. He almost forgot to prepare his coffee. Black. Without cream or sugar. Just like his life: plain, bitter and dull. As he quickly prepares his coffee, he accidentally spilled it into his polo shirt. So much for his usual morning coffee and clean corporate attire.

At around seven-thirty in the morning, John leaves his house. He knows he should leave earlier for he would definitely be late for work. Traffic in the metropolis is urban hell incarnate. He takes the monorail and in an hour he arrives at his office with more than an hour to catch up.

An hour late of his shift, he arrives at his office. A sentinel stopped him on his way inside his office for he forgot to swipes his identification card at the entrance of their building. Since joining his company several years ago, he used to always arrive first at work without fail. If there was a lifetime award for punctuality and perfect attendance, he would definitely forfeit himself because of this fateful day.

At around nine in the morning, John’s workplace is busy humming to the tune of an automated chaos. Cubicles are flooded with employees encoding data and answering phone calls, while offices are filled with project teams deciphering and completing complicated projects. Amidst the confusion, John lost his concentration and cannot stay focus while leading his team in their current project.

“Let’s stop here and resume this after lunch break,” he tells his team.

“You alright, Sir,” one subordinate asks to him.

“Is there something wrong, Sir,” another questions him.    

“You can return to your respective cubicles now. See you after lunch.”

As his team returns to their respective cubicles, John looks at his watch. 10:00 AM. At this moment everyday, his associate, Nicole, used to prepare a coffee and snack in their pantry. He peeked from his office but she was neither near their pantry nor in her office. He wonders what might happen to her. Like him, she’s neither absent nor late for work. He still remembers vividly the time where they were still newly hired in the company six years ago. They used to work in the same team. Due to their impressive performance, they have been both promoted as senior project managers in less than three years.

His reminiscing was disrupted by an applause from his officemates. He looks at the hallway and sees Nicole, with their boss, being congratulated by other employees.

“John,” Nicole calls him from afar.

“Oh my God,” John whispers to himself.

Suddenly, John found himself inside his own twisted daydream. He noticed that he have been in this day before. Nicole was suppose to be on her way to New York and yet she’s still in their office, bidding goodbye to everyone. He looks again at his watch. July 5, 2008. He looks at his desk calendar. June 9, 2006. He looks at the oversized calendar at their conference room. June 5, 2008.

It’s July 5, 2008 again. John is reliving the day he lost Nicole.

Nicole runs to him and flashes her sweet smile. From the way her eyes twinkle and her smile widens, John could conclude that she’s in a state of euphoria. All this time, she still looks mesmerizing, still taking his breath away every time he sees her. At five foot and five inches and armed with those Chinese eyes, fair complexion and slim figure, she is the most beautiful girl John has ever seen. He even knows that every guy in their company, even his boss, wants to date her.

“I got our dream job, John,” she frantically told him.

“The New York offer?” he asked.

“Yes! Aren’t you happy for me?”

“Whoa? I’m ecstatic. Congratulations…”

Unexpectedly, before John could finish his sentence, Nicole hugged him innocently. For the second time since they’ve met, that was the closest place he ever stood from her. In between her arms.

During that very moment, his was completely sure of one thing. Despite feeling her happiness, he cannot be possibly be happy with the fact that she’s leaving him. He shared with her something they both dream of since starting in the company: that illustrious offer in New York. And yet that dream had suddenly become irrelevant. Whether he was more deserving of that job, he won’t exchange his life with Nicole for anything else in this world. A lot of people may find him weird, if not introvert, but no one doesn’t need to be a science geek or some circus freak to understand why he’s treating her importantly right now.

He had already experienced losing her. And he won’t let that happen again.

“I’m hungry,” Nicole told John.

“So where do you want to order our lunch?”

“The usual.”

“Grilled tuna in lemon sauce, fresh salad and red iced tea?” He remembers her favorite food in an instant, just like he remembers everything about her.

“You know me too well, John,” she replied with a smile.

“Damn. This had happened already…” he whispered to himself.

“You were saying something?”

“Oh. Let’s try something different. Let’s eat outside. My treat.”

“Really? Sure! I’ll just get my bag. Wait for me at the elevator.”

As Nicole runs to her office, John shakes his head. He didn’t planned to have lunch with her. He should be ordering lunch and having it delivered straight to his office, just like he did yesterday, or for the past six years. But some part of him felt he meant what he just did.

Everything that happened yesterday is repeating itself, with the exception of John. He seems to have woke up from the wrong side of his bed. Deliberately or unintentionally, he’s been acting quite opposite of himself.

Inside the elevator, the two stood as they wait to reach the ground floor. Both of them felt the tension rising between them but neither did anything about it. In John’s mind, he was contemplating whether to stop Nicole from leaving while in Nicole’s mind, she was deciding whether to ask John what he really feels about her. But neither acted in time for the elevator door had opened before they can do anything.

For the first time in six years, Nicole won’t be eating grilled tuna in lemon sauce with fresh salad and red iced tea for lunch, while John won’t be having roasted chicken breast with steamed vegetables and coffee crush shake. And they won’t be having their lunch at Nicole’s office.   

But still, this lunch maybe their last one together.

Inside Nicole’s car, they sat there motionless, hesitating to break the invisible barrier between them. Nicole started to feel frustrated, that same frustration on John she had kept for the past six years. Nevertheless, she’s still happy that he asked her out for the first and last time, and she would do anything to make this a memorable one, even having to break his silence for the nth time.

“Where to,” Nicole asked John.

“Uhmmm… do you have any particular place in mind?”

“sigh…”

“…”

“Alright. I got the place.”

While having their lunch in a Japanese restaurant nearby, John can’t help but to look at Nicole. He’s in front of the girl he adores all this time. This had not happened yesterday and yet somehow, he had made it happen. If given the choice, he would freeze this moment just like a photograph and relive it over and over.

He was trying to remember everything that occurred yesterday, and he was trying to change everything right now. If his theory is correct, he was given another chance to redeem himself. He was given another chance to be with Nicole. He was given another chance to make her feel how much she means to him. He was given another chance to change his own destiny.

“You alright, John,” Nicole asks John.

“Huh? Me? I’m fine. Why did you asked?”

“You haven’t touched your lunch. And I’m finished with mine. And that’s quite unusual.”

“I guess I was stuck here looking at you.”

“Oh…”

Nicole can’t help but to blush while John smiled at him sincerely.

“Yeah. You look real nice.”

“Nice?”

“You look beautiful, Nicole.”

“Stop.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

“…”

“I’m gonna miss everything.”

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“…”

“…”

After what she heard, Nicole stared and wondered at John, while he continues to focus his attention at her.

At two in the afternoon, they were suppose to returned to their office. But John can’t let this moment end right now. Instead he convinced her to go with him in a nearby park and talked about all their happy memories together. From the time they met, to the time they were having problems with their projects, to the time they got promoted as senior project managers, up to the time Nicole decided to go to New York.

The afternoon sun is scorching high and yet they were concentrated with each other’s stories under a shade of a tree in the middle of the park. They kept on finding themselves stuck in the moment, staring at each other then turning their backs in embarrassment as they smiled at themselves. Nicole opens her bag and looks at a picture of her and John. On the other hand, John continues to enjoy every moment that was happening right now. The only thing left to say were his true feelings for her, most of it includes not letting her go. As he search for his own courage, he stares at her and wonders what she really feels for him.

Hours passed and the two were stuck in each other’s warm presence. John looks at his watch and it reads “7:04 PM.” He realized that he hasn’t finished anything after having lunch with Nicole. And he was two hours way pass his shift. As for Nicole, she still has her stuff in her office to bring home. They quickly fixed themselves and returned to their office. As they reached their office, John remembered what had supposedly happened next. They were on their way to where he would lose her.   

They were on their way to Nicole’s office.

He peeked inside and looked at her as she hurriedly fixes her stuff. He noticed that most of her stuff were already gone. One box remained placed on top of her working table. It has his name on it. He walks to it and looks inside. What he saw inside made him let go some of his tears.

Inside were all of Nicole’s pictures with him. 

He picks one from the box and stares at it. In the picture he sees himself beside her. And the picture had an effect on him as if she was staring back at him. Frozen in that picture was her sweet smile. That same smile that kept him smiling on his own.

“Hey,” a voice called John.

John turned around and saw Nicole standing at her office doorway.

“I’m sorry to meddle with your stuff.” He quickly returned the picture back inside the box.

“No, it’s alright. Actually I was suppose to give those to you but I guess I choose to stash them last. I was planning to leave them at your office door.”

“Oh…”

“Are you crying, John?”

Time froze as the two stood in front of each other. John realized that whatever he does, he found it impossible to change the course of his fate. Yesterday is reliving itself and he can’t stop it from happening again. He was given a desperate chance; a day to change everything and yet he knows that he cannot defy his fate with that very limited time. Nicole would be giving him all their pictures and she would be bidding him goodbye. And there was nothing he can do about it but to give in to his own tears.

As for Nicole, she looks at the guy she had adored for the past six year as he cries in front of her. She wanted to believe that those tears were for her. She wanted to hear him tell her how much important is she to him. She wanted to see him stop her from leaving. She wanted this moment to last forever.

But all she got was his tears, no more, no less. And she never heard the things she wished to hear.

“That’s it?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you have anything to say, John?”

“Ahhh… I’m gonna miss you, Nicole.”

“You do understand that I’m leaving for New York tomorrow, and that’s all you can say?”

“Huh?”

“Aaarrggg! You’re hopeless, John!”

Out of her own frustration, Nicole walks towards John, picks up her box containing all her pictures with him, shoves it to his chest, and turns her back at him.

“After you’re done crying there for no apparent reason, could you do me some favor? Turn the lights off for me, lock the door and jump from the building. You’re smart enough to do that, right?” She stormed out of the room while fighting her own tears from falling.

John grabbed Nicole’s arm and he accidentally drops the box she gave to him. The box fell on the floor and its lid opened. All its contents scattered; their pictures flew to different directions. Nicole tried her best to hide her own tears, while John surrendered to his own. Slowly, he pulls her towards him and embraced her from behind. Finally, he said the words that could change his fate, and that would answer her desperate prayers.

“Please don’t leave, Nicole.”

“Damn you, John. How can you be so blind?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I’ve been waiting for you for six years, six long years, John. And all you can say is sorry?”

“I’m not really good at these, Nicole. I’m really scared all these time.”

“I just don’t know. I’m leaving tomorrow. You do know how much New York means to me.”

“I know. That’s why I somehow think stopping you from leaving would be such a selfish act.”

“God, John. For once, could you just stop thinking with your mind and start feeling with your heart…”

Before Nicole could finish her sentence, John turned and looked at her straight to the eye. Under the haziness of his own tears, he desperately mustered all the courage he could build just to find the right words to say to her. This was the perfect moment for him to tell her how much he had loved her all this time. But he just felt I couldn’t do it, and he succumbed to his fear of being rejected.

John had lost his right moment. And he may lose completely the right girl she truly loves.

It took them a couple of minutes to comprehend that everything is hopeless and neither of them would give up. Out of her grave frustration, Nicole suddenly pushed John away, and picked up all the pictures that were scattered on the floor. She placed them in the box, brought them with her as she ran towards the parking lot of their company, and drove away in her car. John remained inside her office, standing clueless. At past eight in the evening, Nicole was inside her car on her way home. She had with her the box that she was suppose to give to John. She just ignored all of his calls to her mobile phone several times until she decided to forget him completely. She had shut off her phone. She had shut off all communications with him. 

She had shut him off her life.

At around 11 in the evening, Nicole can’t place herself to sleep. She visualized in her mind the whole day she had with John. She doesn’t know if she should just forget everything that she had built in her career and just follow her heart for once. Her eyes won’t allow her to sleep. They seem to have minds of their own. All they wanted to do were to cry all night. As for John, he can’t sleep either. His heart won’t allow him. It knows there is still enough time. There is still hope for them.

At around three in the morning, she was still awake, staring blankly at her wall. She remembered the box that she was supposed to give him. She opened it and laid its contents on her bed. Dozens of pictures silently screamed his name. As she gazed to all of their pictures she painfully felt one thing. In all those frozen memories, there was one person that remained constant. There was one person who witnessed how she became the person she is right now. There was one person who experienced with her all those happy moments.

John was there with her all along.

For six years that they were together, Nicole had strings of dates but nothing blossomed into any fancy romance. And in those years, John was the constant guy in her life, the closest she had to intimacy for he was always there lending a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. How can he be so blind?

As she laid the last picture on his bed, she heard her name being called from outside her house. She went out and what she saw made her completely forget New York.

Outside was John, still in his unclean corporate attire stained with his morning coffee, and speaking his heart’s content.

“Nicole, before you say anything or call the cops, let me speak just once. Inside my heart are my feelings for you. I know you’ll be leaving for New York tomorrow but I guess these feelings would be the heaviest baggage I’m gonna give to you. I want you to hear them. I want you to remember me, Nicole. Please don’t forget me. Since the day I’ve met you, you were the greatest thing that happened in my monotonous, boring life. I tried so hard to stop myself from falling from you. At first I thought it would be easy. But as the years passed, I desperately hoped that just for once, I should have found the courage to ask you out even for a date, just to know what it feels like making you feel how I really feel. I keep on hating myself every time I see you date other guys for I know no one knows you like I do or loves you like I do. I know I’m making an embarrassment of myself right now. But for you, only in front of you, Nicole, that I’m willing to do this for I still cannot comprehend why I haven’t done anything to reach out and take a chance at you. Maybe I was insecure. But now that you’re going to be away without me, that scares me the most. You have been the sole reason why I’ve stayed all this time in our company. But I guess I cannot go on wondering what might have been if you knew how important you are to me. I just have to tell it to you, Nicole, and that moment is now. It has been my constant prayer every night for you to feel the same way for me. I love you, Nicole, and not telling you that is the one thing I fear the most. I want you to know how much you have shaped me, how much you inspired me. I’ll always keep you inside my heart…”

Before John could finish his speech, Nicole kissed him as they finally let go of all their emotions and shared each other’s tears of happiness. She understands now. She secretly loves him, just like the way he secretly adores her. She was also the sole reason why he never accepted any offers given to him from other companies, just like he was the same reason why she stayed in their company all this time. It was also her desperate wish for him to notice her more than the bounds of their working and friendly relationship, just like his constant prayer every night for her to feel the same way for him. And it was also her greatest regret of losing him completely; just like his greatest fear of not telling her how important she is to him.

Their identical prayers were already answered. And they have overcome their greatest fears.

At around five in the morning, with joyous eyes and blissful hearts, John and Nicole finally dozed off to sleep.

 July 5, 2008. 5:30 AM. Nicole wakes up from the sound of her alarm clock. For her, another day would only mean three things. John. John. And John. Her life exists beyond the bounds of her career as a senior project manager in an outsourcing company. Friends would mean associates. Family would mean his project team. Success would mean a completed project way beyond the deadline.

But Love would only mean John.

For someone who dreams of a prince charming and believes in happy endings, she lives an idealistic and positive life.

Nicole runs her life by her own beliefs. She never forgets to thank God for every blessing she receives. She loves what she does for a living and she enjoys every minute of it. From the moment she wakes up in the morning until the time she closes her eyes at night, she never misses a prayer. This natural phenomenon happens every single day of her life.  But last night proved to be different from the other nights she had. She wasn’t able to sleep at all. All she did all night long was to lie awake and think of everything that supposedly happened yesterday.

After taking a warm bath and changing into her clean corporate attire, she prepares her breakfast. Tuna with toast and orange juice. Just like her life: healthy, sweet, and delicious. It charges her everyday without fail. Since childhood she firmly believes that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for it provides the necessary energy to start a busy day.

At exactly six in the morning, Nicole leaves for work. She knows she should leave at this exact time for the latter she leaves his house, the greater chance that she would be late for work. Traffic in the metropolis is urban hell incarnate. She takes her car and in an hour she arrives at her office just in time.

As she parks her car and walks her way to their office, a sentinel greets her as she swipes her identification card at the entrance of their building. Since joining her company several years ago, she always arrives right on time without fail. If there was a lifetime award for punctuality and perfect attendance, she could be a great contender.

At around eight in the morning, Nicole’s workplace starts to hum to the tune of an automated chaos. Cubicles are flooded with employees encoding data and answering phone calls, while offices are filled with project teams deciphering and completing complicated projects. Amidst the confusion, She stands focus and undisturbed, leading her team to another successful project.

“Well done, team,” she tells his team.

“It’s great to be with you, Ma’am,” one subordinate replies to her.

“We’ll going to miss you, Ma’am,” another flatters her.    

“You can return to your respective cubicles now. Good luck with your careers.”

As her team returns to their respective cubicles, Nicole looks at his watch. 10:00 AM. At this moment everyday, she takes a break and prepares a coffee and snack in their pantry. She looks from afar John’s office. She wonders what might he be doing. Like her, he’s neither absent nor late for work. She still remembers vividly the time where they were still newly hired in the company six years ago. They used to work in the same team. Due to their impressive performance, they have been both promoted as senior project managers in less than three years.

Her reminiscing was disrupted by an applause from her officemates. She looks at the hallway and sees John, with their boss, being congratulated by other employees.

“Nicole,” John calls her from afar.

John runs to her and flashes his sweet smile. From the way his eyes twinkle and his smile widens, Nicole could see that he’s in a state of euphoria. All this time, he still looks superb, still taking her breath away every time she sees him. At five foot and nine inches and armed with those deep-set eyes, dark complexion and well-toned body, he is the most handsome guy Nicole has ever met. He even knows that every girl in their company, even her best friend, wants to date him.

“I can’t believe you, Nicole,” he frantically told her.

“Huh? Why?” she asked.

“Someone’s finally going to New York!”

“Whoa? Really? Who…”

Unexpectedly, before Nicole could finish her sentence, John hugged her innocently. For the first time since they’ve met, that was the closest place she ever stood from him. In between his arms.

During that very moment, her mind was torn into two. She was happy that she declined that offer in New York, just to be with John. She felt her body absorbing his joy. She shared with him something they both dream of since starting in the company: that illustrious offer in New York. And yet the other part of her felt a certain fear. What if John took the offer that she had just declined? She knows he was more deserving of that job. Skill-wise, he was far more competent that her. And many people only see her as a beautiful face. Rumors have even spread that she might be sleeping with their boss. And only John was the one who never treated her like some pin-up girl or some corporate slut.

“I’m hungry,” John told Nicole.

“So where do you want to order our lunch?”

“The usual.”

“Roasted chicken breast with steamed vegetables and coffee crush shake?” She remembers her favorite food in an instant, just like he remembers everything about her.

“You know me too well, Nicole,” he replied with a smile.

“So who’s going to New York?”

“I don’t know. Boss is quite busy right now looking for your replacement for New York while I just finished my 50th successful project. Don’t look at me like that coz I don’t have any plans of leaving here.”

“Oh really?”

“Yep. I just want to have lunch with you every single day of my life.”

“Nice one, John.”

“I just want to spend my days with you, Nicole. And I want you to know that.”

“…”

As Nicole’s face brightens up, John reaches out and held her hand for the very first time. They smiled at each other as they went back to Nicole’s office to wait for their lunch.

“Cry if and only if there’s no more love left. Pero ika nga, lost love is still love. You could grieve, yes. But not too long. Just express the pain. But there’s to life ahead of you.”

 ”Love is patient. Love hopes. Love always hopes..”

“You can never teach a guy to love you the way you want to be loved. You have to wait for him to do it in his own way, in his own time…That’s the saddest part of being an expectant girl. But you can never teach a girl to love the guy back the way she did before if she already grew tired and fed up understanding and waiting to be appreciated and loved the way she deserves to be loved…That’s the saddest part being an insensitive man.” 

“Kami ang pinakamalabong creatures! Gusto namin to then the next minute, ayaw na namin. Basta, super malabo kami.” 

“I can’t say what I feel about him. Wala naman kasing nangyayari. So ano dapat mafeel ko towards him?”

“Super takot sa rejection. Ayun, hindi marunong gumawa ng move dahil takot din siya gumawa ng move. Kahit pinapalakas ng friends loob nya. oh man, what a coward.” 

“Take it from me. Expect ako ng expect, nothing comes, the girl don’t see my efforts. Anong magagawa ko? Wala diba. All I can do is wait…Malabo. Sobra. But I just can’t give up. Siguro nahulog na talaga ako sa kanya ng sobra…”

“Cause I love you more than I could ever promise, and you, take me the way I am.” 

“I want to let go but I just can’t. Guess I was trapped and can’t move on. I still like you the way I liked you before.” 

What can you do kung ganun yun? Poootik! ang labo! If life would be unfair, I’d rather not live than live at all. Sucked.

Dota at bisyo. Karamay ko pag nakakalungkot ang araw. Omg, gusto ko na talaga makita si papa jesus ng maaga. Amp, pesteng buhay. Labo.

Sabog. Oo, maga nanaman mga mata ko. Ang sakit na ng ulo ko. Ang sakit ng tiyan ko. Parang walang katapusan. Buhay na impyerno, isang malaking kalokohan!

There’s no difference. Everyday seems the same. Everyday sucked. Almost everything was taken away since yesterday. Today, I understand it more. Many things differ as time passes by. People change day by day. They weren’t the same since yesterday. I know this day will pass like any other day that had passed. People’s attitude will change along with their prejudicing thoughts,  their ambivalent feelings and undying pride. How about tomorrow? By any improbable chance, will it ever change?

Kakapasok ko lang ulit. Hay, nakakapanibago. Walang humpay na pasok. School, homeworks, reports, seatworks…Walang katapusan! parang earth lang na walang tigil sa ikot! Ano pa kaya patutunguan ng buhay kung paikot ikot lang?

Words Left unsaid.
“Psst! sabay tayong umuwi. Okay lang?”
“Sure.”

“Musta na?”
“I’m fine. Hassle, daming gagawin. Nakakapagod!”
“Oo nga e. Kailan kaya matatapos to?”
“Malapit na yan. Ilang linggo nalang, graduate narin tayo.”
“Yey! Konting tiis nalang. Makakalipat narin tayo ng patutunguhan.”
“…”
“Medyo traffic ata. Gusto mong maglakad?“
“…”
“Ano?”
“Sige na nga.”

“Pagod na ko maglakad! Upo muna tayo. I need some air!”
“Ha ha!”
“Alam mo namang lampa ako e. Tignan mo naman tong payat ko.”
“Ha ha ha ha!”
“Gawin mo nga to.”
“O? ano to?”
“Try mong gawin sa kamay ko.”
“…”
“…”
“Di ko gets…”
“…”
“Ano mo to?”
“…”
“Weh naman e!”
“Wala lang…”
“Ano kaya yun!”
“Basta!”
“Hay nako…”
“Parang ang ganda mo ata ngayon…”
“…”
“Pare may lighting ata. Nasa studio ba tayo?”
“Korni!”
“Ha ha ha ha! Kaw naman…Pinapatawa lang kita.”
“…”
“Tara, okay na ko. Lakad na tayo ulit.”

“Uhm…”
“Ano?”
“Tignan mo. Ganda ng langit no? parang bumukas.”
“Bakit?”
“Parang may nahulog.”
“Ha?”
“Nahulog ka ata e. Buti di ka nasaktan.”
“Hay nako ang korni mo talaga!”
“Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“…”
“…”
“Gusto kita.”
“Ha?”
“Sabi ko, gusto kita.”
“Weh, Korni mo talaga kahit kailan!”
“Gusto kita.”
“…”
“Matagal ko ng gustong sabihin to. Pero ang dami kong naiisip. Naiisip ko kung anong posibleng mangyari pagkatapos ko sabihin to. Baka nga huling paguusap na natin to. Pero ngayon, total nasabi ko narin, gusto kong malaman mo na matagal na kitang gusto. At tuwing nakikita kita, okay na araw ko. Masaya ako pag nakakausap kita, nag eenjoy ako pag tumatawa tayo. Parang ang babaw ko pag ikaw kasama ko. Konting joke lang, napapangiti na ko. Iba. Ang saya pag kasama kita, ang sarap ng feeling pag naglalakad tayo tapos ikaw yung taong nasa tabi ko. Lagi kitang naalala tuwing gabi, bago ako matulog. Hindi lalagpas ang araw ng hindi kita naiisip. Minsan nga, para nalang akong tanga, ngumingiti mag isa.
“…”
“Gusto kita. Buwan ko na tong tinatago. Gusto ko lang na malaman mo na… “

“…”

You‘re running on my mind again. I don’t know why. YOU, YOU and YOU.
You‘re the only person that I think of, You‘re the only person I would like to dream of. Every night I look at the stars and wonder. Wondering how my life would be if I didn’t met you. Guess it would be cold as ice. You‘re the only person who lights my day, you‘re the person who I would enjoy to be with. How miserable can my life get, in a day without seeing you. My day is complete by the time I see you. For that very second, I won’t regret. Even if I just saw you for a while, I cherish it and it really makes my day. YOU, YOU and YOU. Only you occupies my mind.

I thought, I think, I will be thinking of…YOU because for me, you are EVERYTHING.

Nawili ako marahil
sa paglipad sa hangin.
Kayo naman sa pagiging taya.
Hindi ko tuloy napansin
ang senyas ng mga daliring
magbubuhol sa inyong mga palad.

Pero ngayon, nag-aalangan ako,
habang sinisipat ang hadlang.
Hindi ko yata kayang talunin
ang taas ng palumpong tinik
na inyong inipon sa aking harap.
Paanong hindi sasabit sa pag-igpaw
kung hawak mo ang muling magbubuo
sa sugatan kong loob.

Summer had passed and the school year is about to start. Bookstores and other school supply stores are starting to be back on business. Before the school year starts, students come by the school to get their books and know their schedules. Samantha, a sophomore student decided to get her book early. She’s just a regular girl. Nothing special, she plays the bass as a hobby and lives a normal life.

She was patiently waiting for her turn. As she looked on her left, she saw someone sitting and that someone is staring at her.

“Wow, he’s cute, I can tell.” She said to herself. And she took her eyes of the guy and thought of eating after she gets her books. As she was coming near to the end of the line, she saw the same guy. Standing, carefully staring. Since it was the second time around for Sam, she knew that that guy is new.

First day of class. Sam arrived at the school excitedly and had a big smile on her face. The moment she got in her classroom, she saw her classmates making a big fuss on something.

“What’s new?” She asked.

“A new student arrived and…you know, all of the girls are starting to ask him and all that.” Sam got curious and wanted to know who the guy is. Suddenly, the professor entered the classroom and everyone stood and greeted the professor. The professor started to do his speech and welcomed all students, old and new for the school year.

“This is so boring.” Said Sam to her seatmate.

“Yeah, I know, the professor is starting to do his own SONA here in our classroom.” Said her seatmate back to her and laughs. After hours of speech, the professor said aloud,

“All new students please rise and be recognized by your classmates.” Sam got excited because she likes guys and he really wanted to find out if the new guy is really hot or not. Then, one guy stood up. As the guy faced the direction where Sam is oppositely looking, she saw the face of the guy and recognized,

“That guy is the one who stared at me at the library.”

“My name is Nathaniel Dela Fuente. Nice to meet you all.” Sam stared and the guy noticed. He asked her directly and said,

“Hello, what’s with the deep stare, miss?” and then smiled. Sam realized that she almost drooled and saw that everyone’s looking at her. She was in a moment of panic. She doesn’t know what to do. She can’t breathe and started to turn red. A weak voice came out of nowhere.

“You may now take your seat Mr. Dela Fuente. Thank you.” She heard clearly what the professor said and she was starting to be able to breathe again. She thought and laughed, and a word came out of her mouth,

“Saved.”

Weeks have passed and Nathan was starting to have friends. Sam noticed that the guy was a heartthrob jockey. She really didn’t care. Because she knew that someone already likes her and she likes him back so, no worries.

She noticed that Nathan was the talk of the school. She heard his name all over the campus but still, she really didn’t care. Time passed and some rumors where spreading. Nathan had a girlfriend. Nathan wasn’t really in love with the girl. He only wanted to have a girlfriend for the moment. His girlfriend started to teach him how to smoke and drink. As time passed, Nathan realized that it was going too far and decided to stop that nonsense of his.

“I don’t want to see you anymore. You make me sick and you don’t have any future with me. Please, avoid talking with me because I might puke the next I see your face.” The girl started to cry and walked out without a word.

“That’s how you do it.” Nathan whispered to himself.

Sam had many kinds of information about Nathan so she already knew that he broke up with her girlfriend even before everyone knew about it. She also heard from others that Nathan was starting to like her after he had broke up with her girlfriend. She wouldn’t believe it easily so, she just discarded the thought.

One time, Sam checked her email because she knows that her tita would send one that night. Instead of seeing the name of her tita in the messages, she saw an address that’s unregistered. Sam began to wonder of who would send that message to her saying hi and telling her that he really likes her. She started to solve the mystery inside of her mind. She was thinking…deeply and carefully. Suddenly, her thoughts said, “Nathan.”

The next day, during lunchtime, Sam was seating all alone, studying. Then a small little voice came from nowhere.

“May I seat here miss?” As she looked up, she saw a warm smile and cute friendly little eyes. It was Nathan. Sam got shocked and she wasn’t been able to talk so she just nodded and Nathan took his seat and started to eat. It was quiet. The silence was starting to break everyone’s ear. Sam wasn’t really studying and just using her big book to cover her face. After a moment, she heard another voice. She didn’t know that voice but she completely heard every word.

“Hate me, don’t talk to me. Just hang out with that girl and keep on ignoring me.” Even though Sam couldn’t see Nathan’s face, he knew that Nathan was totally pissed off.

Nathan picked up his glass, which is full of water and boom, it all splashed on her ex-girlfriend’s face. Everyone looked. Everyone noticed. Nathan did it on purpose because he was really pissed. Everyone couldn’t laugh because they knew it was a serious matter.

After that incident, Sam somehow knew that it was really Nathan who was writing to her. Weeks have passed and Sam and Nathan started to say HIs and HELLOs. It was really a happy moment for Nathan every time Sam would reply to one of Nathan’s His.

At home, it was 7:30pm and Sam was watching basketball on the TV. While watching, the phone rang. She walked and answered it.

“Hello Sam.” She got shocked and petrified.

“This voice, I know this voice…” Then a second after thinking, the guy said,

“It’s me, Nathan.” In a gentle way. She got shocked again. She asked him how he got her telephone number.

“Secret! I’m superman. I know everything.” The conversation continued and it was undying. It was more than 5 hours of talking and laughing. Sam noticed that it was already 2:45 in the morning so she decided to say goodbye.

“Hey it’s already late. I have to go to sleep.”

“Oh, okay…Sleep right now, okay?”

“Okay, bye.” As she was about to down the telephone she heard,

“Sam…”

“What?”

“Don’t hang up on me. Sleep from where you are right now. I know you’re in your sofa having a good time talking with me.” Sam was speechless.

“Please?”

“How can I sleep then?”
“Don’t hang up the phone…Just sleep. So that it will look like I’m there looking out for you…”

After those infinite times of conversation every night, Sam knew that she was feeling something special for the guy. She knew that she is starting to like Nathan and is falling…real fast.

“I think I love you, and it must be true. Because I miss you…I’m falling for you, now I need you.”

A year has passed and Nathan and Sam are happy together during the summer time. They always ate outside, watched romantic movies, etc. The school year is about to start again and Sam’s mom decided to transfer her to another school without knowing the reason. Sam almost cried and he talked to Nathan that day and said to him,

“Promise me, you won’t find any other than me…”

They constantly had communication. Everyday, they talk over the phone or text each other and sometimes, Nathan would pick up Sam at her school. Days have passed and they were happy.

February 14, 2006. No chocolates, No flowers. Just ice cream. Sam likes to eat ice cream and one of her favorite flavors is coffee crumble. Nathan and Sam ate ice cream at the nearby ice cream parlor and Sam was kind of sad because she was expecting that Nathan would give her flowers and a box of chocolates.

“I thought you’re going to give me some chocolates and flowers…”

“Well…I thought you don’t like flowers and chocolates…I’m sorry…I’ll buy you next time…I Promise…” Sam didn’t spoke a word. She smiled at Nathan and stared at his eyes. Nathan felt awkward and covered her eyes with his arms saying,

“Don’t stare too much…It makes me shy.”

Two days before Sam’s birthday, as she was on her way home, she thought of passing by the mall to look for something she wants on her birthday. As she was walking, she saw this small store and saw a beautiful necklace and really liked it. She was wishing that she would get that necklace and kept thinking that someone would give it to her.

“Miss, how many stocks do you have for that necklace?” she asked the sales clerk.

“Ma’am, that’s the last one.” The sales clerk replied.

Sam wasn’t happy because she knows that the necklace was really beautiful and she knows that people would like it too so she came up with a conclusion and thought that it would be sold before her birthday.

April 7, 2006. On her birthday, Nathan was waiting outside the school gate. When Sam was able to go out of the school, she saw Nathan waiting by the store nearby. When Nathan saw her, he went to Sam and told her,

“Happy birthday, Sam.” And then He opened her bag and brought out his present. Sam was happy because, the presence of Nathan in her birthday is more than enough to make her happy.

“Don’t open it yet.” Nathan said to Sam, as he was about to give the present. “I hope you’ll like it. I bought it two days ago…”

“Can I open it right now…please!”

“No! It would embarrass me…” He paused for a moment and stared at Sam’s eyes. “Oh well, since you really wanted to see it right now.”

“Yey! Thanks!” Sam torn the wrap, and then saw a case. She got excited and opened it. When she was about to open it, she saw the name of the store. It was the same store that she went to two days before. It was the necklace that she wanted and she was surprised and looked at Nathan, she stared at his eyes and Nathan wasn’t comfortable. He can’t say a word because Sam was really staring at him. Then Sam spoke and took off her stare.

“Thank you, Nathan…I was really hoping that someone would give this to me…I was in ‘this’ store two days before too. And you bought me the same necklace that I really liked. I think that we were really meant to be…and I like it.” She felt her heart and something weird is going on. She was happy. More than happy.

“Okay class, don’t forget to bring your materials tomorrow.” The teacher said to them while dismissing them. Sam decided to ask Nathan to help him buy things that she needed to bring the following day. So she called Nathan and asked him if it was okay. They met near the lrt and from there, they bought things at the nearby supply store. After buying, Sam said,

“Don’t accompany me to our house…It would only cost you a lot…” Nathan decided to agree with Sam and decided not to accompany her to their house. While having their bags inspected, before they say goodbye to each other, Nathan held her hands and said,

“Goodbye and take care of yourself okay?” Sam was already blushing when Nathan held her hands. She was happy and liked the way Nathan showed his love for her. She was smiling on the way home and looked like a crazy person, laughing by herself all along inside the train.

During the month of Christmas, the couple decided to go out and watch movies, eat, and many more. After all of those, while walking back home, they passed by a studio.

“So, would you like to have a picture with me? Its okay if you don’t want to…” Nathan said while pouting and doing those heart melting eyes on Sam.

“Hmmm…Let me think.” And then laughed. “It’s a little bit old school but…It’s okay with me as long as it’s you I’m with.” Then she smiled at Nathan. They had their first picture together. They were happy even though it’s a little bit old school. Nathan kept the picture in his wallet and he was so proud of it.

“I wish I could take a journey to your mind…and find emotions that you always try to hide.”

January 4, 2007. Sam went to Nathan’s school. When Nathan saw her, he said hi and stuffs. And then Sam was jokingly not listening. After that, Nathan got hurt and didn’t talked to Sam at all.

“I was just joking…I’m sorry…” and then she cried in front of Nathan. It was raining that day and all she wanted to do is to go away from that place. She wanted to go somewhere, where she couldn’t see Nathan’s face. She got home and thought of everything that had happened. She decided to call Nathan and say sorry for the joke.

“Sorry…Sorry…I know I did the wrong thing and I’m so sorry…” Nathan wasn’t acknowledging the sorry of Sam. Sam cried and cried and didn’t know what to do. It was already 12 midnight. She was really breaking into tears and was about to fall asleep when the phone rang.

“Sam…” Sam suddenly can’t breathe. “I’m really sorry for taking the joke to seriously…I’m really sorry…” Sam smiled. She didn’t replied and her tears aren’t falling anymore. She started to smile and realized things that Nathan kept doing to her. She felt the love around her. She smiled and smiled and never fell asleep. She was happy.

The following day, Nathan wrote a sorry letter to Sam and she was glad about it that Nathan was doing an enormous effort just to say sorry about the joke. But one week after that, Sam talked to Nathan about something that’s about to explode inside of her.

“Nathan…I think that my feelings changed because of that incident. I think I’m overdoing this relationship. I am really sorry for saying this but, I think I don’t feel the way I felt it before that incident had happened.”

“No…don’t you give up on me…I will bring back your feelings for me. You know that I really love you and I wouldn’t want it to be put on waste.” Sam didn’t listen and just kept on walking. For one week, Nathan did everything he could. He bought her ice cream, went to their school everyday, call her on her phone, do sweet things and show that he appreciate her the most. And suddenly, Sam’s feelings really went back and were stronger than before.

Nathan decided to date Sam on the upcoming heart’s day. Two days before February 14, she asked Sam’s mom.

“Tita, I was wondering if I could be with your daughter this February 14. I was wondering if I could date her…” Sam’s mom didn’t spoke for a moment. Nathan was having the creeps and was wondering what to do if her mom wouldn’t let them go out for a date.

“Okay. But promise me that you’ll be home at 8 o’clock.” Nathan jumped out of excitement and kept thanking Sam’s mom.

February 14, 2007. After her classes, Nathan was there and they went to Sam’s house to change. After changing, Sam and Nathan went to the nearby mall. Since it was already 6:00pm when they arrived at the mall, they decided to eat. Nathan knows the likes and dislikes of Sam. So she asked Sam,

“C’mon, let’s eat ice cream.” and smiled.

“Okay. Where? Dairy Queen?” Then they looked at the line inside the ice cream parlor. They saw that the line was little bit long. It’s because it’s heart’s day. So decided to switch plans. While walking, Sam said,

“Hey, let’s eat over there. The line looks shorter than the others.” So they went to the line and waited. They didn’t want to waste their time. That’s why they were rushing on everything because they only have two hours left. While waiting, Nathan started to stare at Sam. Sam looked at Nathan’s eyes back. Then she took off her eyes and started to look around. Suddenly, she felt something warm on her hand and her blood was starting to heat up, her heart was beating faster and faster. She looked, she saw her hands holding someone else’s. She saw, Nathan, smiling at her. She was starting to lose herself, she looked around and started to turn red. She tried to take her hands off, but it got harder and harder. She didn’t want to pull out her hands because of not wanting it, she was shy by the people around her. She was starting to sweat, her blood rushed up and wanted to gain more of this feeling. She felt deeply in herself, the love that Nathan was giving. She knew how it felt when someone is able to give love. Love that’s real. Love that’s hard. She realized people were starting to look at them and Sam was more than confident enough not to let go.

On their way home, they took a ride. They held hands for the rest of the night. Words were not an option that night. All they did is look at each other and smile. Sam would look up every time Nathan’s hand would hold her hands tighter. The night was unbearable, that night was memorable. It was real and love was there.

“Goodnight.” Nathan said while they were standing at the gate of Sam’s house.

“I enjoyed it. Thanks.” Sam replied.

“I enjoyed it too. I am happy knowing that you’re mine forever and I’m yours too…forever. I wouldn’t let go of this hand. I will always feel you whenever you’re far away from me. I will always love you, Sam. I will…Forever.” Sam smiled back and Nathan knew that she liked what he said. They had part ways and Sam opened their gate and leaned on it. She smiled and laughed. She was thinking of every moment she had with Nathan that night. She smelled her hands and said,

“I would never ever forget this scent of his…I will always have him for the rest of my life…I will love him forever.”

April 7, 2007. It was Sam’s birthday again. Nathan was at Batangas that day. He was texting Sam, telling her that he really wanted to go at her birthday. So, Nathan traveled from Batangas to Manila just to see Sam and be there at her birthday. He arrived late at Sam’s house and he was the only person left to celebrate her birthday.
“Hey you! What are you doing here…you’re not supposed to be here…”

“I’m supposed to be here. You know that the most. Because you’re very special to me.” Sam was happy that Nathan arrived at her birthday even though it was late.

“Sam, you know how much I value you. I’ll literally die if you’re taken away from me. All I can do for you in return, for being mine, is to make you feel what I feel for you. I know sometimes, that we fool around get out of track. But always remember, whatever happens, I’ll always love you Sam…I will…always.” Sam was speechless. Nathan was carefully staring at her. Smiling at her. He was thinking of something. He was negotiating with his mind if he’ll do it or not. Sam couldn’t understand Nathan’s movement. The next thing she knew, BLANKED. Nathan hugged her. She can’t move. Her eyes can’t move. She felt Nathan’s heart. Her blood spiked and Nathan was ready for his next move. Nathan loosen up his arms and he kissed Sam on the cheek. She was spiritless. Her blood spiked up again. She couldn’t do anything. She looked at Nathan eyes and saw him smiling. She was loved with one love.

“Sam, I love you.”

“Love is the beautiful one…and all we need is love, Real love.”

It was Sam’s turn to show her love for Nathan because it was his birthday. She decided to prepare a surprise party for Nathan and do everything she could just for Nathan to see that she was loved too.

“Thank you Sam. I can’t believe that you did this for me. I guess I’m not the only one loving.”

“Did you like it? I hope you did. Or else…”

“Or else what?”

“Or else…Nothing! Just joking!” and then laughs.

“You really love me do you…I hope you do…I hope you really do.” After saying that, Nathan looked at her. She knew that he wasn’t waiting for a reply and that he was okay with it.

It was summer and Sam’s family was ready to leave. To leave the Philippines and live the rest of their life in New Zealand. At first, it was hard for Nathan to accept the fact that Sam was leaving. He can’t accept it and wanted to do everything he can before she leaves the Philippines.

July 2007. Sam didn’t enrolled the current school year because they were going to New Zealand. Her former school invited her to play for the upcoming celebration for the opening of the new school year. Sam agreed because she wanted to play for the worship team for the last time. On the day that they have to practice, Sam asked Nathan if he could come with her over the phone.

“So, what time will we meet?” Nathan asked.

“Around 4pm is okay. We’ll be practicing after their class.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be there. I’ll wait for you by the nearby supermarket in your house.” Nathan wanted to go earlier than that. He wanted to be with Sam more and more because there’s only a month left for them to be together. Sam was leaving at the first week of august.

It was raining. Classes were suspended. One of the closest friend of Sam texted her and said that their classes were suspended and asked her if she could come early for the practice. Sam agreed and texted Nathan on the adjustment of the schedule of the practice.

“Hey, ill c u at 10am infront of d suprmrket. D sched was djustd due to d rain.” Sam took a bath and got ready to leave. On her way, she texted Nathan again saying,

“Im on my way 2 d suprmrket. C u der..” A few minutes later, she arrived at the supermarket. She was surprised because Nathan wasn’t there. He always come before the time that that was agreed on. So she got worried that Nathan would forget her and kept thinking of out-of-nowhere things. Her mind was wandering everywhere.

“Wer r u? wer bout 2 start.“ She received a text message saying that their practice was about to start. Since she waited there for almost an hour, she decided to leave and go to her former school.

“Don’t you ever forget a moment you had with me. All this was meant and nothing between us was made to regret.”

After the practice, she went home with her friends. Sam was lonely and she talked to one of her friend and said,

“Where is he right now…I miss him.”

“Probably he’s at home. The rain is so strong. So he’ll be hanging around his house.”
“You’re right. I’ll give him a call when I arrive in our place. I hope he’ll be okay. I mean, after leaving him alone, he probably waited for me at the nearby supermarket in our house. I told him to wait for me there. But I was the one who left him…I feel so stupid.” She frowned and kept thinking of deep thoughts. She arrived at her house and decided to change because her clothes were all wet because of the rain. After changing, she decided to call Nathan.

“Hey…did you go to the supermarket today?”

“Yeah, I arrived their early. I was waiting for you for almost 2 hours. Where were you?”

“Didn’t you receive my text message? I texted you to come there at 10am because their classes were suspended and the practice was done in the morning…”

“No, I didn’t. There was no signal.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“I was there. Waiting for you. I got wet and I think I’m going to be sick because of the rain. I went to your house and your helper told me that you left the house during the morning. You didn’t even made a time to call me.”

“I texted you…I called you in your cell phone but no one’s answering…I’m sorry…” Nathan didn’t talked at all and Sam kept saying sorry until Nathan understood that it was an accident and no one wanted for that to happen. The next day, Sam knew that Nathan was sick. He has a high fever and wasn’t able to go to school. She always was calling Nathan on their house and kept asking him if he’s already okay.

“I’m okay. Every time we talk at the phone, I feel a lot better.”

Nathan got better after a week. Nathan showed his never-ending love to Sam because she only had a few weeks before they leave for good. So Nathan decided to ask Sam’s mom…again, to date her. Her mom agreed and told Sam that it was okay for them to date. They dated and Nathan showed everything he can, he loved her, he cared for her, he admired her, he wanted to have her for good. Sam was happy because of Nathan. He knew that Nathan really love her and wanted to have her for the rest of life. She knew that, even though their fate separates their ways, she always knew that Nathan would be there…always to be on her back and love her with everything he can.”

On the last night of Sam, here in the Philippines, They made a farewell party and invited everyone. Sam invited her friends and they all made it out. Everyone made a speech and one of the most special is Nathan’s speech. In his speech, he told everyone how much he loved Sam. He told all of their memories, good and bad. He told everyone that he didn’t regret a thing with Sam. She told everyone that Sam is all he wanted to have. He wasn’t happy that night. He knew that she would be leaving him. She knew that all of those will be gone after she leaves. He was crying. In front of everyone. He said,

“I love you, why do you have to leave me…” He was crying. His tears was breaking apart and nothing could stop the reality that she was leaving him.

After the party, everyone left. There were hugs and kisses everywhere. A sign of remembrance, a sign of loving and parting their happy memories with them, her family. When Nathan was ready to leave, Sam was with him. She was with him until he was be able to ride his way home. Before they part ways…*kiss*

The next day, they were ready to leave and was waiting for their flight. It was also the day that Nathan would be taking the UPCAT exam. So, for the last time, Sam and Nathan wanted to be together. They wanted to be able to enjoy their last presence with each other. Sam went to Nathan’s house and helped him to get ready for the exam.

“You’ll be okay. I know you will be.” And then she smiled at her. She got curious why Nathan wasn’t riding any jeeps that pass by. She wanted not to leave and wanted to be with him forever. Until Nathan spoke, and it was a language that only the two of them could understand.

“Last ten minutes. I want to be with you for the last ten minutes.” She cried. She doesn’t know what to do…

A week after, Sam was already at New Zealand. Everything changed. There were no more places that she could go to when she was scared, there was no ‘Nathan’ that she could be with when she feels alone. There was no night during the first and second week when they didn’t cried. It was a jealous fate. Both of them couldn’t stop what’s happening. Until now, they both feel lonely, they feel alone every time they needed someone to be with. Someone to make them smile when the worst feeling is felt.

“True Love is to sacrifice for the one you love. Like Jesus, He died for our sins because He loves us. SINCE THE DAY that we felt something for each other, up to now, that were having a relationship, we weren’t able to be together. Like in our school, he was their and I was here. For us, we are willing to accept if were not meant in the future. But I know that God placed us together today because He knows that we could help each other out.”

‘O elegant river, please hear me, I really wanted to catch this large and beautiful fish.’ Days have passed and still, nothing happened. For the last time, he decided to talk to the river again.

‘O river, please grant my wish, please let me catch a fish.’ Suddenly, the river replied out of nowhere.

‘Dear man, why do you still pursue in catching a fish in my body? Yet you know I am dead?’ He started to wonder why the river said that he was dead. And then he said to the river,

‘because I was hoping to catch a beautiful, unique fish in your body. I know that soon, a miracle will happen and you will grant my wish.’ The river didn’t reply to what he said. The fisherman lost hope and started to pack his things. As he was walking, he saw, at the end of his rod, a beautiful, little fish.

Sometimes, we tend to lose hope. We break, we fall. But we must always know, in the end, everything will be okay. Love. Love is like the story. We want to it so badly, we want it even though there are a lots of reason not to pursue it. Love will always be everywhere. Love will be there when we need it the most. Love will always be unique and will always stand out..

‘Love..will always be with you..and me..’

My neighbor said that, “kulang pa net force mo para magaccelerate ka.” well yea, tama nga naman siya, kasi, kulang pa force ko to accelerate. Acceleration means talking.

Net force means total force. It means all forces acting on an object. Either external or the force exerted by the object itself. External force is equal to inspireyshen given by the people around you. I am thankful to have people around me who’s caring for me. I feel the love around me.:D  Everybody’s force which is exerted by themselves is not enough to accelerate in life. It isn’t enough and needs external force to accelerate which can be given by your friends.

Life is not meant to be alone.  We were meant to live with so much more.

We can exist but we cannot live with a meaningful life without them. We can exist but we cannot live alone. We need someone to help us, someone to guide us, someone to care for us, someone to love us.

Spill!

You, you, you and you. Your running on my mind again. I cant keep up with reality. I cant believe this.is.happening. Something so weird started running on my thoughts. Something that’s not real became reality. How weird my life can get.

Somehow I manage to react with it.

Nooo, Its eating me slowly. She’s coming near me, she’s beside me. I don’t know what to do but to stare and wait for what she’s gonna say. Suddenly, a word came out from her mouth. It felt so good yet so cold. No, I’m such in a panic. My blood started to heat, my heart started to beat faster and faster. Suddenly, poof.

What a traumatic experience. What a happy moment. What a relief. Finally I know. Finally I realized.

“Its you. Its really you. No matter how deeply you believe in it, Its got to be you..”

Haneps, ang ym ang lahat. YM ang bida. Ay gastee, lahat na tungkol sa ym. Maraming bagay na ang nagawa ng ym sakin. Sabi nga ng iba, daming benefits. Puro ym e. YM narin ang dahilan kung bakit di na ko nalalate umuwi. OO, may hinihintay akong mag online. Nakakatawang isipin.

Eto ang eksena pagdating sa bahay.

Kyle: ate, alis na nga dyan! mag oonline na ko.

Ate: hay nako kelbs, marami pa kong ginagawa no.

Kyle: hay nako! may laptop naman..nananadya ka pa..hmpf

Ate: o! ayan na. puro ka reklamo.

Kyle: nice nice..(nagonline na..naka invi) shaaackksss..di pa sya online..ahuhu~

Keezel Javier (ym): kylaloo!

Kyle: bakit?

keez: di mo sya inabutan..sayang..online pamo kanina si *toot*

Kyle: o, ano nangyari!!! kwento mo na!!

keez: ayun, nagchat kami..as usual, sinisingit kita sa usapan ) (laughs)

Kyle: ay nako..wag mo ng isipin na magugustuhan nya ko. Asa boy nga ako e. ) ahahaha

keez: nako..wag ganyan..type ka nun ni *toot*

Kyle: bakit mo naman nasabi. puro ka naman ganyan para kang si jp )

keez: sige di wag ka maniwala! basta..sa nakikita ko..mej type ka nya..pero asa ka! )

Kyle: hahahahaha! tanggap ko nayun no..NOHHHHHHHHH )

keez: basta, konting tyaga lang yan kylaloo..magkakagusto na yan..:))

Kyle: tyaga tyaga..wala ako nun!

keez: basta.. kaya mo yan..naffeel ko na e..:))

Kyle: puro feel..feel lang ng feel..hmpf~

keez: ahahahaha! dapat kasi kausapin mo na e..si *toot*

Kyle: as if na kaya ko e no~_~ KUNG KAYA KO TAGAL KO NG GINAWA HMPF~

keez: ahaha..just take it slow parekoy..and let time decide kung kailan yung tamang oras..:)

Kyle: …

keez: basta..naffeel ko na talaga..

Kyle: …

Sa nakikita nyo naman, ganyan. Ganyan ang regular na usapan sa chat. Puro sa chat. Pero ang paalam kay inay homework.Hahaha, ang chat talaga..dami mong makukuhang benefits

I always wait for her..Mag ol. When she’s online, thats the only time na naguusap kami. Pagdating sa school, parang multo, walang nakikita, walang napapansin. Wala talagang pansinan to the maxes. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero, ganun e. Hahaha, pero masaya..masayang tumitig. Yun lang kaya ng powers ko when she’s around. Titig.

It’s so hard for me to talk to you. Kasi daming tao sa paligid mo. Para ka kasing artista e. Feeling ko nga, malapitan lang kita or makausap lang kita, ma ttsismis agad e. Bakit pa kasi kailangang maging popular ka e no~ artistahin kasi masyado..pero kakayanin ko talaga yan..kumukuha lang ng bwelo..malapit na..malapit na talaga. Sobrang lapit na. p-r-o-m-i-s-e. Kausapin mo rin kasi ako kahit papano..ahaha

magkaroon ka din sana ng initiative..para maging friends na tayo..FRIENDS! wuahaha, kapal naman ng mukha ko..Maybe what im asking for..is too much ) Ahaha lmao:)

Minsan sa buhay, makikita natin kung paano gumana ang utak ng isang tao pag ito ay nasa hindi normal na sitwasyon. Ito ang nangyari sakin ngayon. Hindi ako makagalaw, di makapagsalita, di makahinga. Kung sana may gamot lang sa sakit na ito, nako, lumaklak na ko ng isang katutak.

I’m not able to do what keeps my mind running. Life’s challenges doesn’t choose his victims. he selects it randomly. I was his victim for today, he kept hitting me, bullying me, telling me what to do when I’m in a state of confusion. But i kept telling myself “Live life like you mean it, Love like you feel it.”

always makes me glad.

Believe me it’s true,

your’e the only girl i wanted to have.

Whenever you’re beside me,

I want you to know that i’m happy,

because I would like you to see,

that from day one, we were meant to be.

I remember the day when we first met,

those dark times, I felt regret.

“I love you” and thats all that matters now,

even though i don’t know how.